You would really think that by now companies in crisis could get it right the first time.
But no, as Equifax announced its epic Category 5 Crisis — the cyber hack of 143 million consumers’ social security numbers, drivers’ license numbers, birthdates, addresses and credit card numbers affecting at least 44% of the American population — after stalling over a month to stop the hack and prepare for the onslaught of a public announcement, clearly got the apology algorithm all wrong anyway. Did they think no one would notice?
From a tepid apology from CEO Richard Smith — totally incommensurate with the size of the crisis: “This is clearly a disappointing event for our company, and one that strikes at the heart of who we are and what we do. I apologize to consumers and our business customers for the concern and frustration this causes…” —to a completely botched announcement of remediation, tying use of their free credit monitoring to forfeiting the right of a trial and mandating arbitration, they just got everything wrong.

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